lifesex education is a 'postcode lottery' for young people sophia smith galer04.26.22the problem is, in school, you only learn how to protect yourself – whether from pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. the joyful, positive aspects of sex are rarely discussed.in one of your instagram posts, you wrote that good sex can be learned. how?there's this assumption you should just be able to have sex, that it's innate. either it works, or it doesn't. some believe they just need the perfect partner. that's mostly nonsense.i believe that if you’re willing to put in the effort, you can have good sex or a good relationship with anyone. you have to educate yourself, experiment, communicate, and figure out what pleases you.how do you start doing that?you have to get over yourself, of course. one strategy is to dive into the deep end. for example, you can say to your partner: “hey, let's sit down tomorrow at 6pm and talk about sex.” this involves revealing intimate details, stating your own needs, and discussing preferences.how do you even find out about your preferences?that's not easy. our attention and thoughts often focus on the other person and what they like. it can be worth asking yourself: where do i want to be touched? what makes sex good to me? opening up isn’t easy. people often message me about it.advertisementwhat kinds of messages do you receive?sometimes women write to me that they've been faking an orgasm for years. they ask me: “how can i now say it was never real?”what do you advise them?well, either they live with the lie or they overcome this hurdle. often, i sense a desire for change in these messages. but you have to do something about it. it's probably awkward to talk about sex for the first time. but i promise: it gets easier over time.